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This $hit is Hard

by ironborn· August 22, 2017· in Uncategorized· 0 comments
They say there ain’t no hood like motherhood.  I’d have to agree.     This shit  is hard.  So very challenging.  Basically the hardest thing I’ve ever done.  Ever.   You see, there is no rule book or set of guidelines.  Everyone had advice but every baby is different … so very different.  What worked for one baby is not guaranteed to work for another.     Molly has been a pretty challenging baby.  Most days I feel like I’m completely guessing, going from one attempt to another, basically shooting in the dark.  We’re figuring her out slowly but it has been a guessing game for sure.   I’m the type of person who is generally good at pretty much anything try.  Things have come easy for me these last 27 years.  This … this has not come easy.  I know I am doing the best job I can but it sure is hard to figure out what exactly she needs.  Every day it seems like something different upsets her & something new makes her happy.     && the lack of sleep.  That just makes LIFE challenging.  I don’t do well without sleep but I think I am slowly […]
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Month One

by ironborn· August 18, 2017· in Uncategorized· 0 comments
Time sure does fly.   Little Miss Molly is one month old as of yesterday.  It’s crazy how fast the days go when you don’t sleep … ever.   But, in all seriousness, it’s been a whirlwind of a month.  Some things have changed a lot since she was born but other things have stayed quite the same.   I still cry, but not nearly as much.  And my tears are from exhaustion more so than anything else.  I’m not good at being tired.  I’m an 8 hour a day kind of girl so the collective 4 or 5 hours a night that I’m currently getting has me at a significant deficit.     I used to be super caffeine sensitive.  If I had it anytime in the afternoon I wouldn’t be able to sleep at night. That is no longer a problem.  Now it is all the caffeine all the time just to try and stay awake.   You see, I went back to work when she was three weeks old.  She comes with me, and so does our nanny Briana, but I still gotta work 8+ hours a day most days.  No, my boss didn’t make me come […]
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07.17.17

by ironborn· July 21, 2017· in Uncategorized· 0 comments
What a day Monday was, and will forever be for my new family.   And to say it didn’t go as planned is a massive understatement.     You see, Sunday morning I woke up like any normal day, well normal for 40+6 weeks pregnant; uncomfortable and tired but nothing out of the ordinary.   I noticed I wasn’t feeling a lot of movement from Molly and became a little worried.  We set an appointment to see our midwife that afternoon.  Molly was fine and after being checked, my midwife determined I was 3cm dilated.     My midwife decided to strip my membranes and send me home with some castor oil, all with the intention of kickstarting labor – which it did.      I went into labor at 9pm and began tracking my contractions with Danny’s help.  We were ready to take on our homebirth with all of the techniques and strategies we’d learned in our Bradley Method Birthing Class.   At 11 pm my water broke and my contractions got closer together.  My midwife headed to our home around 12:30 and when she arrived she checked me to see how far along I was.  I had progressed […]
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To answer some FAQ for my dear family, friends, and support network – I know your questions are all well meaning but, honestly, I’m exhausted from repeating myself …. so here it goes: Yes, I am still pregnant.   Yes, I am overdue – I was due Monday, July 10.   No, I will not be induced because I’m having a Home birth.   Natural induction techniques will be used next week if necessary.    Yes, I’m aware a Home birth has “risks” …. so does a hospital birth and this is my journey and what my husband and I have chosen.   Yes, a Home birth means no drugs, no medicine, no epidural.  #allnatural Yes, I feel like I’m 40+ weeks pregnant so please just guess how I’m feeling.   Yes, I’m still working because I have work to do and can’t just sit at home.    No, I’m no longer working out because keeping my eyelids open is a good enough workout for me.    Yes, I sleep like shit and am thoroughly exhausted.    Yes, Molly is totally fine and content on the inside for now.    No, when I do go into labor, you will not know. […]
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I’ve been saying it for a while now.      Your THOUGHTS will become your THINGS.     I know people don’t always believe me, and that’s alright, but today I am here to prove to you just how powerful your thoughts are.   Every year, Ocala Magazine, a local publication here in Ocala, Florida does a contest for the top 40 professionals under 40 years old called the 40 Under 40.   I decided that this year I wanted to be nominated.   Nominations occur during the month of February every year so on February 1st I began writing “I’m in the 40 under 40 in 2017” 15 times every day.  As I reflect back in my journal, I actually only wrote this statement for just 15 days – not even the entire month.     The power of writing this message and manifesting it into my life did not go unnoticed by the universe.     I was in fact nominated as one of the top 40 individuals in Ocala under the age of 40 for 2017 by our community and my peers and this month the publication was released.   You see, I told the universe what was […]
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9 Days Out

by ironborn· June 30, 2017· in Uncategorized· 0 comments
Every day all day I am asked, how am I feeling?   I’m feeling like I’m due in 9 days.     I’m feeling lots of pressure and am majorly uncomfortable.   I’m feeling exhausted even though I’m “getting enough sleep”.   I’m feeling mildly stressed because I’m going to have to miss work for at least a little bit.   I’m feeling anxious because I’m going to be birthing a human any day now, without meds, in my home, and essentially unassisted.   But …   I’m also feeling incredibly blessed.   Blessed to have made it this far in my pregnancy without any hiccups.   Blessed to know that I have an phenomenal support system surrounding me.     Blessed to feel my baby move daily and know that she is healthy.   && Beyond blessed that my baby will be here any day now!   Thanks for all your love and support as we head into these last few days!
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#homestretch

by ironborn· June 10, 2017· in Uncategorized· 0 comments
I’m due one month from today.  One month.  30 days.   Oh my goodness.     && baby girl could even come before that – kind of a scary / amazing / beautiful thought.   Are we ready?   Well technically speaking, yes.   We have all the essentials.  We’ve bought everything we need for our home birth and we’re “prepared”.   Physically, yes.  I’m so ready to have my body back.  To be able to touch my toes and take a deep breath.  To be able to workout with intensity again and entertain the idea of moving at any sense of speed.     Emotionally, well I’m just not sure.  How can you prepare for the emotional rush that is bringing a human into this crazy beautiful world?  I just don’t know how I will be prepared emotionally for that.   And then I have these moments where I think, “Am I ready?”.  Can I do this?   But, then I remember.   I remember that all it takes is lots of love, a great support system, and the assurance that I’ve never been given any task that I couldn’t handle.     So, you know what?     Bring […]
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This time last week I had a full fledged meltdown.     Like, not whoa is me, sniffle sniffle, but full on meltdown.     My “plan” was falling apart in front of my eyes.       You see, I’m a planner.   I plan everything.   I’m always prepared, never late, and 100% of the time have an idea of how to conquer all.     But not last Friday.   Oh no.   My plan felt apart in a matter of seconds.      Something major I’d been working on since October when I discovered I was pregnant (aka – who’s going to take over my work responsibilities AND who’s going to watch my kid full time) was quickly crushed by a change of plans.      But guess what?  Plans change.   People move.  Shit happens.      It just so happens this past weekend I was also headed to the beach for a few day getaway with my hubby which couldn’t have come at a better time.      I needed a few days to have a meltdown.   To feel pity for myself.   And to bask in the shittyness of the situation.      But I also needed a few days […]
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My main squeeze is 28 years young today.     If you had told me 5 years ago that this is where my life would be, I’m not sure I would have believed you.     You see, I am so incredibly blessed.     My husband is the hardest working man I know.  He is up before I am most days ready to take on the day, managing multiple projects at once.   Not only is he taking the A/C business by storm and taking on larger and larger projects but he is also a house flipper extraordinaire.     On top of all that, he manages to love me for who I am, taking on the emotional rollercoaster of pregnancy in stride and telling me I’m pretty every single day (something I struggle to believe most days).   But what I love most about Danny is that he never once stops forward progress.  He is always focused on what is next, how to take on the challenges ahead, and making our future the best it could possibly be.   I sure do love me some Danny James and can’t wait to spend the next 60+ birthdays with you!   Happy […]
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Mom   We all have one.     Some are blessed to have more than one.   She’s the person I go to when I need a friend.   She’s my person.  My person who always has my back.   A shoulder to cry on and a friend to tell me to woman the hell up.   The rock in my family – always doing for everyone else and putting herself last.     Ensuring everyone else reaches their goals before her’s are ever even on the radar.     She’s the bomb.  The jam.  The best damn person around.     And you know what’s pretty kick ass?   I get to be that person for this little human inside me in just a few short weeks.   How cool is that?   I hope to be as blessed as all of you and become even a resemblance of the mother my mom is for me.   Happy Mother’s Day to all the moms out there.     I love you mom!
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