Somewhere along the way, through this journey called life, we begin to believe that we need to be a mom. Whether it is an intrinsic feeling or the pressure from society, somehow, someway we get this pull at our motherly instincts, or lack thereof.
Some people are meant to be moms. They were born to raise kids,wipe noses, and breastfeed for years. Others, it is more of a learned behavior. You pick it up as you go, taking tips and tricks when you can from those super moms that you hopefully surround yourself with. And then there are some of us that just aren’t meant to be moms. Don’t want to, aren’t interested, and really have no drive to create a tiny human.
I would say that I am the middle kind of mom. I have had some great role models in my life and I continue to surround myself with kick ass moms to learn and grow from. But, being a mom is hard. I don’t wake up every day ready to change shitty diapers, wipe noses, and hang out with a human who can’t talk to me.
Now, don’t get me wrong, I love her to pieces and I cherish every moment we get together. But I also love my identify; my career, my personal space, and my relationship with my husband.
People ask me, more often than I would like, when we plan to have another child. The honest answer; no time soon. Molly has been hard on our marriage and hard on me. I’m a smart women and don’t just want to sign-up for a repeat. I want to consciously enter life with another child, prepared for whatever surprise we may get, emotionally and spiritually ready to take on all things that will come my way. I want to feel confident that I can take on a second child.
I used to think that I had to have my kids close together. That’s what my mom did and it worked out well for her, so, why not? But, now I know what is best for my family. Space, time, and growth with Molly is what is best. I want to be the best possible momma to that sweet girl before I try to give myself to any other children.
So, for now, my Molly is my one and only.
I will continue to love and cherish every single moment with her.
I will continue to be over protective and a hover mom. I will continue to bathe her in essential oils instead of modern medicine.
I will continue to use my mom radar and instincts to know what is best for our daughter.
I will continue to take time for myself and my personal goals.
I will continue to work on my relationship with my husband.
I will continue to honor my marriage and our family with all of my decisions.
I will continue to make the best decisions for my daughter and our family, regardless of how it makes anyone else feel.
And, most of all, I will continue to be blessed and highly favored.
Earlier this week an individual suggested that my reaction to a situation with Molly was off-base and over the top. My response: Don’t stand in judgement of my reaction. I live in my truth and Molly is my prize possession. She is my one and only. And I will never, ever, censor my love or protection for my daughter. Ever Ever Ever.
Happy Mother’s Day friends. I hope you all are as blessed as I am.