A day to give thanks with intent. To focus on what we are truly thankful for, how good we really have it, and to verbalize just how thankful we are to those around us.
On this Thanksgiving, I have so much to be thankful for.
I have a beautiful, healthy baby full of laughter, joy, and love. She’s a special kind of perfect that has made me evolve and adapt to meet her ever changing needs.
I have a husband who provides for our family and works day in and day out to make sure we have everything we need and more.
I have a career that has allowed me to grow as a person so very much. I get to touch people’s lives regularly and the growth that is forthcoming for Iron Legion and Florida’s Best Boot Camp is crazy, scary, and exciting all at the same time.
I have family that will die for me. My mother is always there to help me learn how to be a better mom. She watches Molly while I take a few hours to be “me” in the gym. My mother in law spends two evenings a week at our home enjoying Molly’s company and being an extra hand as we learn how to be new parents. There is no price to put on their help and I’m forever grateful.
I have friends that are ride or die. Some I’ve had for months and others for years but all of them have my back. It’s an amazing feeling to know that I can call a number of people and they would drop everything to lend me a hand.
Yet, with all this Thanks, I still find time to dwell. To feel sorry for myself. To fall into sadness.
My life isn’t perfect. It’s isn’t roses and sunshine every day.
I’m still tired.
I still don’t love my body post-pregnancy.
I still have a hard time finding a post-baby groove with my husband.
I have many moments of sadness and frustration.
I struggle to find my identity as a new Mom.
And many days I wonder if it’ll ever be close to how it was. How it was before Molly. Not in a bad way, just in a Human way. In a “who am I now” kind of way.
I keep telling myself it’s okay to have doubts and uncertainties. To not be sure if this is my forever future or just my right now.
But what I do know is that, in time, I’ll find me again. And I’ll find my relationship with my husband again. And I’ll find a way to make this new reality work.
Because I am so very thankful.
Give thanks this Thanksgiving.
Give love this Thanksgiving.
Ps – I promise I’ll be back to blogging regularly again.